Mental War

For those who like to read the endings of books first, I'll spare you the scroll down: I ran my scheduled 10 miles.

For the rest of you, the story goes like this: Yesterday I prepared mentally and physically for my run today. I went to bed early (10:30) and woke up early (6:30). I already knew I was going to have a hard time getting out there b/c I had some anxiety dreams about running. But I dressed and ate my breakfast bar and drank my water. I also knew I was going to have a hard time because let's just say I wasn't feeling good, at all. (Ladies, get my drift here.) In fact, things got so bad, I decided to go back and lay down for a while. After checking the weather forecast (and watching it religiously on Saturday), I knew I had a little time to play with. The weather was unseasonably cool today, but thunderstorms were predicted around noon. I had to get out there before noon. I had to. But, things were pretty bad and so I stayed in bed.

The following conversation between "good runner Stephanie" and "bad runner PMS devil Stephanie" took place in my head:
-You must get up.
-Don't get up, you won't make it in this condition even if you try.
-If you don't get up now, it will start storming and then you never will get your run in today.
-You could always run 10 miles on the treadmill later.
-You hate the treadmill.
-You must get up.
-You could always run 10 miles after work tomorrow. You could even do the elliptical today and then run tomorrow.
-You can't do that, it will throw off your schedule. And really, who are you kidding? You'd never run 10 miles after work. You must get up.
-You could always skip it all together. I mean, really, you say you aren't officially training for anything. Why would you kill yourself.
-Screw it, you are going back to sleep.

I woke up at 10. Moped around, drank my coffee with soy milk and I was still feeling pretty bad. Since I was sure it was too late to head out before the storms, Matt and I went to lunch. (Pizza of all things) I was horrible company. I was a mess. I had skipped a 10 mile run. This was the end of the world. I needed a resolution, but what would I do? Ok, get a grip Stephanie (good runner Stephanie reappeared) It's only 11 a.m., there is still plenty of time to run. It's not super hot today, and look, it's not raining. It's sunny.

Ok, GRS was right. I needed to stop obbsessing and get out there. Unfortunately, I had a belly full of pizza, salad and soy coffee. This was not exactly the pre-long run diet I am used to. So I waited until 12:45 (worrying every second it would start raining) and then geared up and started running. Armed with my cell phone and instructions to Matt to come get me if it started storming (poor guy), I took off.

A few highlights included:
Running with a nice young doctor training for the half. We stuck together 2 miles and then I decided her pace was too fast for 10, so I let her go on ahead.
Seeing an Airedale Terrier like mine.
Trying new sports beans (fruit punch--yum)
Being done with the whole thing.

Are you happy now, GRS?! Grrr.